Reader Tom shares a funny story about how to make a point without being mean-spirited.
Here’s how it all went down..
I was at LAX and there were two devices, the old metal detector..and the new, and ineffective Virtual Grope Device (VGD).
Both were operating, and I requested the metal detector. This was interpreted by the TSA agent as ‘opting out’. There was no way back….I was in for the grope session.
So at that point I politely requested a GAY SCREENER. The agents smiled (as did I), and said they’d never had that request before. I said I’m not going to insist on it, but I’d prefer it as I’m a gay man.
So a minute later, they shouted out the name of some dude, and over walks this nice looking black man to do the deed. He politely started to explain the procedure. First he offered me to to be screened in a private room. I answered that I thought he was really cute, but I’d prefer to do the deed in public. Smiles all around.
Then he expalined that he was going to frisk me down, and use the backs of his hands in the sensitive areas. I told him not to bother, that it wouldnt be necessary. Again, more smiles. He got to my crotch and gave me a good grope on both sides, and frankly, I dont think he bothered to turn the palms of his hands backwards.
I told him he did a great job and again, more smiles. (He was really cool and funny).
Then his boss, this nice black woman came over….she was hilarious. She explained how this job was not something they signed up for…and I concurred. Then more smiles around and she said…now next time, YOU TAKE HIM TO LUNCH…it was hilarious…
The lesson….be gentle with these people…they didnt sign up for this…they’re doing their best and help them make the best of a bad situation. Sure, there’s some assholes out there, but I have to believe, most are kind people wanting to do their jobs and get home to their families or loved ones.
Thank you for your example and for sharing your story, Tom. I disagree that the TSA employees are blameless. If they’re so upset about it, they could refuse to do it. But it’s important not to be mean-spirited.
28 Responses to Tom at LAX: ” I asked for and got a Gay screening”
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This is the kind of attitude I want to see at all screenings. Fliers need to not get their panties in a twist and agents need to approach this security theater (is anyone else thinking “bad C movie?”) with understanding and professionalism… and a little humor.
If this really happened, I’m extremely pleased. If it didn’t… well… TSOs need to read this and learn.
They COULD refuse to do the pat downs, but they most likely CAN’T afford to lose their jobs. At this time, I am pretty sure anyone who is employed is glad to have a job at all. There is a long line of people just waiting for those TSA jobs.
I don’t feel sorry for the TSA at ALL! If my job description was amended to include these new procedures, I would quit! My morals and values are not for sale – unlike these TSA agents. I think that compared to the TSA, prostitution has more dignity, because at least a prostitute doesn’t force their will on people.
What’s so immoral about grabbing someone’s junk? My doctor regularly grabs my junk and makes me cough, and I’m sure your gyn pokes and prods you aplenty. If it’s not immoral when it comes to health, why is it suddenly immoral when it comes to safety?
Your doctor is paid to do that and has your consent. You have the right to go to another doctor or request an alternative mode of diagnosis. It is illegal to provide medical service without consent when the patient is capable of providing consent.
And the TSA screener is paid to do that, and by virtue of you purchasing an air travel ticket you’ve given your consent. You have the right to go to another means of transport, or drive yourself, or just stay home.
While I can appreciate the sentiment that many TSA agents didn’t sign up for this, I still see a problem with this story. While the moral appears to be not hating on people who are just trying to do their job, and I agree courtesy and humor can go a long way, this story reads more like a missed connection on Craig’s List.
A hetero man would NOT get to choose to be felt up by “a hot TSA chick” and I don’t get to pick the cute guy over there. Even if I could, the point isn’t to find a date. Buy your own lunch.
I shudder to think of what would happen if this were widespread and available for people of all sexual preferences. Legalized sexual services, paid for by taxpayers, in full view of minors who may or may not have parental consent.
Most of the German soldiers didn’t sign up for it either. They were just doing their job and wanting to take care of their families.
Obviously, some people enjoy the job, at least some of the time.
Uh, there’s just so much wrong with this. Sex harassment? Inappropriate behavior? Creating a hostile environment, according to workplace laws? I’m straight, should I ask for an opposite-sex TSO so I can enjoy the experience? Should I do so in front of my – or your – children? Even in jest? Sexual behavior, joking, comments, are illegal in the workplace, you know, and airport security is a workplace.
wow. i think i’m going to do something like that the next time i’m stateside. i hope my screener is a big black man. oh yes indeed. *scribbles*
They didn’t sign up for this. Neither did the nazis. Neither did the gestapo. Doesn’t excuse the fact that they never said “no, I won’t do this.”
Everyone should just make it really awkward for the TSA screener by saying things like “Oh yeah, right there” “That feels good” “Don’t stop” “I like it when you touch me like that”
Um, This cannot be real.
Maybe someone being a smartass or something.
That’s just inappropriate all around.
I think everyone needs to have a little more sympathy here. Would you really just up and quit? Because I call bullshit on that. There’s no way you quit your job and leave your family unable to make ends meet over a screening procedure that some people are offended by. It’s not like they’re being asked to commit crimes against humanity.
Oh, and speaking of that sort of thing, just a note to those people who compared them to the Nazis: you automatically lost the argument right there. Way to completely trivialize World War II and the Holocaust, you morons.
Murder isn’t the only kind of crime against humanity. Stripping a person of his or her dignity strips that person of more humanity than death ever could. Death creates a martyr, but lost humanity creates a slave.
So conducting a body search to prevent the death of hundreds is no different than stuffing poor Jews into gas chambers? That’s seriously your argument?
Daniel’s right, you’ve already lost the argument, but apparently don’t realize it.
Wow…Godwin’s Law really kicked in quickly on this one.
As a pilot for a major airline (gay, too, I might add) I do agree with the point of the protests about screening. What I don’t get is how people can argue that it is a sexual experience good or bad. It is just a check. Someone can paste some explosive on their penis or shove it up their anus or armpit or calve or inner thigh or belly. A body is a body and not always a sexual playground.
When passengers get real and stop demanding stupid things from their airlines then maybe I can stop yawning about this whole pointless event.
OK, Dave, and how on earth would you detect explosive on someone’s penis or up their anus? Are you suggesting an even more enhanced pat down? Anal probes and penis fondling? Oh, forgot you were gay so this would probably be something right to your liking.
I vas just following orders of mein fuhrer too
Anyone claiming Godwin REALLY needs to read it. Godwin is about calling someone a nazi because you have no further way to argue against them. The people in this thread are calling the TSA nazi like because they’re behaving EXACTLY like the nazis. They pulled this same exact crap before they actually got around to killing the jews. Godwin does not apply here, sorry.
Read Godwin’s Law before you make a comment about Godwin’s Law.
Godwin’s Law: “As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.”
“It’s not like they’re being asked to commit crimes against humanity.” Actually, they are, continually. Taking naked pictures of a bullied-but-consenting adult or molesting a bullied-but-consenting adult is perverted and a crime against civilization at least, but doing so to a CHILD, who has NO WAY to avoid this abuse, IS a crime against God and humanity, an evil act, for which the perpetrator is going to burn in Hell.
How about we cut out the creative protests like this and start just suing the government for invading our privacy: https://lawblog.legalmatch.com/2010/11/19/do-the-new-tougher-airport-security-measures-violate-any-laws/
That seems a lot easier as people won’t need a degree in avant garde film to understand what my protest is trying to convey.
TSA employees are not blameless? Does the same logic apply to our soldiers overseas? We need not support them because they should individually refuse to perform tasks that they/we consider to be inappropriate?
[...] I’m seriously starting to consider joining the TSA… I’d get to select “high profile targets” for some “secondary screening” and either capture some see thru nudie pics that are about as good as a lot of the celebrity oops shots I see or I get to “meet resistance“. [...]