Steve Peters has released the The TSA Circus Soundtrack Kit. You are going to love this. Cue it up on your iPod or boombox for National Opt Out Day.
“STEP RIGHT UP LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES, FOR THE PRICE OF ONLY ONE THIN BOARDING PASS, DARE TO EXPERIENCE FOR YOURSELF THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE WORLD’S LARGEST INSTANCE OF GOVERNMENT-SANCTIONED VIOLATION OF YOUR 4TH AMENDMENT RIGHTS, ALL IN THE NAME OF YOUR SAFETY. IT WALKS, IT TALKS, IT PUTS ITS HANDS DOWN YOUR PANTS, IT’S THE TSA! WITNESS THEIR BRAND-NEW MIRACLE MACHINE THAT BATHES YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN IN RADIATION AND REMOVES EVERY SHRED OF CLOTHING FROM YOUR BODY FOR ALL TO SEE, LAYING YOU BARE AS THE DAY YOU WERE BORN! AMAZING!!! TOO SHY FOR THE NEWFANGLED X-RAY MACHINE? THAT’S ALL RIGHT MY FRIENDS, YOU CAN OPT OUT, BUT BE FOREWARNED. IF YOU DO, THE RESULT WILL BE AN INTIMATE ENCOUNTER WITH A STRANGER THE LIKES OF WHICH NEITHER OF YOU WILL EVER FORGET. NEVERTHELESS, WE SUGGEST THAT YOU OPT OUT! OPT OUT WHEN ASKED TO STEP THROUGH THE MIRACLE MACHINE OF MAYHEM!JUST SAY “I OPT OUT” TO AVOID THE MACHINE AND GET A PAT-DOWN INSTEAD. YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU DID!”
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Oh Man.. This is Awesome!
Here’s an idea for non-violent protest of the TSA if you find you’re forced to fly:
Crumple aluminum foil in the shape of a penis and put it in your underwear. I particularly recommend this for female passengers.
Cut out letters from aluminum foil and paste them to your chest. I suggest the words: “Like what you see, baby?”
Use your imagination. There’s no law against carrying aluminum foil onto aircraft.
even better is to close in with them when they start to feel you up, back pack on them when they get to your butt and hollar “OH YEAH BABY!”
Hilarious. I was thinking to groan and then act as if you were having an orgasm…loudly having an orgasm..a prolonged, loud climax that moved the earth beneath your feet. You might even go weak in the knees requiring support from the worker whose fondling you as you loudly moan in their face. And be sure to say when they have finished, “Was that as good for you as it was for me?” And ask for the feel-up pat-down to be in the open area for all to witness. With several of these going on simultaneously, you may actually cause the workers themselves to opt out!
Love it!
Ideas for non-violent protests can take many forms. Here’s another I thought of:
If you’re forced to be pat-down-raped, be sure to warn the TSA agent in advance:
“You might want to be careful. I have crabs.”
>:)
Love it!
Wouldn’t lead foil work better?
Or, you could sweetly sing the song,
“Getting to Know You”, getting to know all about you…..
Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me!